You Don't Know What You've Got 'Til It's Gone

Three times a week I do something I never thought I'd do, not being a "pool person". I spend 45 minutes in the local pool, participating in a Therapeutic Water Exercise Class. I put on a flotation belt, hop on my good leg into the deeper water, and exercise while suspended there and not bearing weight on my left leg. It is SO wonderful to be able to move and exercise and get the blood flowing! :-) 

This morning,  as I was "cross-country skiing"" down the swim lane, the words to an old song came into my mind...just one line- "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone"...and I spent some time reflecting on the gift of walking, something I have totally taken for granted until now. To be able to stand up on both legs and move to wherever you want to without thinking about it...to enjoy walks and hikes and using your muscles until they are really tired- such a gift!

 I wanted to say to everyone I saw walking around on two legs...enjoy it! Use those legs! Be grateful for what they let you do! I'd give a million dollars right now to be able to run and dance and climb up a mountain. Maybe I'll be able to do that again at some point (that's what we're praying for!)...but for now I'll simply be grateful- not depressed- because my two legs have been a gift from God, and I've been able to do so many things and go so many places.

While I wait for healing and/or surgery, though, I still feel like Dorothy. I've been wandering around this new land I find myself in, getting used to it, meeting new people (Munchkins??) at the pool and at Kaiser...and experiencing the kindness and love that is coming my way. Thank you, everyone...

So here is what I know so far:

•  my condition is not fatal and I don't have vascular disease (like I told John the other day...You're stuck with me for at least 40 more years!)
• what I'm going through doesn't happen to many people and there is very little known about causes and treatments
•  I am not in much pain at this point because I am not weight-bearing, even though the pain from osteonecrosis is intense
• I need to find out what stage of the disease the bone is at, because that determines treatment and prognosis (I'll be seeing an orthopedic surgeon on the 29th)
• it is amazing how exhausting it is to go through this, even though it doesn't seem like I do much! Everything takes so long on crutches and one leg, and adjusting and figuring everything out is very tiring mentally. (Thanks for praying for the staff and board of the Journey Center as we sort through the impact of this on our mission there)
• God is good and never changes...even though so much has changed!

And now I'm off to watch "The Wizard of Oz", since Netflix just delivered it. It's been many years since I've seen it and I have a feeling there will be an abundance of helpful metaphors for my journey.

And you....enjoy walking!  :-)

Joanna