LISTEN...That's the message I keep getting.
It is the message of my second nightmare (see October 26 post), as the waters were rising. "Don't move. Don't be afraid. Be still. Listen to My voice and do what I say." This message speaks peace to my heart as I continue down this long and winding yellow brick road, on this unexpected journey.
It's the message that we are hearing at the Journey Center as we reflect on the past year and all that God has done in opening doors and toucing lives, and what He might be saying to us in the midst of a financial situation that would normally mean "We can't make it and we need to shut the doors." We know that we are being invited to "Be still. Don't panic. Listen to My voice...I know what I am doing." This message gives us hope, strengthens our ability to trust and helps us keep focused on the mission, knowing that all will be well.
The other day I was having breakfast with a friend. I told him about how I'm being invited by the Spirit to listen. He told me that he is being drawn to listening for God's voice in a strong way. Then I got in the car to drive home, and the car in front of me had a very interesting license plate...."listen3". I started laughing because it was so clear that God was saying loud and clear to me... LISTEN. In that moment of happy delight in God's presence and persistent communication, I knew that this was to be my new spiritual practice.
Plain and simple. Not any kind of fancy technique or particular time in the day where I set aside a few minutes to listen. But a way of being in the day, in the moment. Wherever I am, however I am. Just remembering the word "listen" seems to do it for me. In the past few days, I reach for the radio in the car and I remember...."listen", and some of those times I decide not to turn the noise on. I just drive along and think of that word..."listen", and experience peace and a Loving Presence with me. As I listen, things become simpler and clearer, and there is peace.
I've come to believe that the Spirit invites us to particular spiritual practices in each season of our life, and right now my invitation is to listening. (It seems especially appropriate as in just a week I'll start weight-bearing a little and will be discovereing if there has been any healing in my knee. It's an easy time to be afraid, and listening and experience His peace seems to be the only antidote. Thank you so much for your prayers!)
John 10: 2-4 "The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice."
Listening in Oz,
Joanna
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Two Months in Oz
When I think about Dorothy's journey down the yellow brick road, I remember that much of it was a wonderful adventure. Coming from a world in "black and white" in the movie, she stepped into a technicolor Oz. It was a beautiful place, for the most part. And she made new friends along the way, true and loyal friends...and they sang together, had hope together and found courage together.
I've been on my own "long and winding" yellow brick road for 8 weeks now. My crutches and wheelchair have become my friends, helping me make the journey. The terrible pain of osteonecrosis has gradually diminished as I've been putting no weight on my left leg and now I basically have no pain and can sleep through the night. As a result, my energy has returned over the past couple of weeks, and for this John and I are very grateful. And I've found my brain again!
I find myself in a nice "window" of time where I feel almost normal...except for the clunk, clunk, clunk that lets people know I'm coming! :-) As the crisis has passed, I am now into a routine that gets me through the days and allows me to work about 20 hours a week. I've even been able to be at the Journey Center a bit during the day, getting reconnected with the staff and hosts and guests. And we continue to feel your support and prayers along the way...wonderful!
Dorothy had dark places along the road- the apple trees, the monkeys, etc. I still have dark places, too... a day here and there of frustration or depression, and I find that I am not alone in those places. God is present, full of compassion, and He always sends help and lifts my spirits eventually.
John and I realzed over the weekend that while we are enjoying this more stable time, we are beginning now to anticipate our arrival in the Emerald City, the place where we are headed. In about three weeks, I will begin weight bearing and that is when we'll see what's been happening inside my knee. Has my body been growing new blood vessels, absorbing the dead bone and laying down new bone? No one knows...no one can say, except me when I start trying to walk again. The moment of truth...
Our hope is that I will gradually be able to bear more and more weight and some day get my full strength back so I can walk and hike and dance (I've decided that if I can walk again, I'm going to learn to dance!).
And, to be honest, there is a small feeling of dread as well...what if the pain returns, and the sleepless nights and the utter exhaustion? What if nothing has changed?
That is when we are reminded of the two nightmares and the choice (see the previous post). Panic or trust? Fear or surrender...which will it be?
We choose to trust, and we thank you for your prayers these next three weeks for "revascularization" and healing...and hope and courage.We are so very grateful for your love and support- our true and loyal friends!
Blessings,
Joanna
I've been on my own "long and winding" yellow brick road for 8 weeks now. My crutches and wheelchair have become my friends, helping me make the journey. The terrible pain of osteonecrosis has gradually diminished as I've been putting no weight on my left leg and now I basically have no pain and can sleep through the night. As a result, my energy has returned over the past couple of weeks, and for this John and I are very grateful. And I've found my brain again!
I find myself in a nice "window" of time where I feel almost normal...except for the clunk, clunk, clunk that lets people know I'm coming! :-) As the crisis has passed, I am now into a routine that gets me through the days and allows me to work about 20 hours a week. I've even been able to be at the Journey Center a bit during the day, getting reconnected with the staff and hosts and guests. And we continue to feel your support and prayers along the way...wonderful!
Dorothy had dark places along the road- the apple trees, the monkeys, etc. I still have dark places, too... a day here and there of frustration or depression, and I find that I am not alone in those places. God is present, full of compassion, and He always sends help and lifts my spirits eventually.
John and I realzed over the weekend that while we are enjoying this more stable time, we are beginning now to anticipate our arrival in the Emerald City, the place where we are headed. In about three weeks, I will begin weight bearing and that is when we'll see what's been happening inside my knee. Has my body been growing new blood vessels, absorbing the dead bone and laying down new bone? No one knows...no one can say, except me when I start trying to walk again. The moment of truth...
Our hope is that I will gradually be able to bear more and more weight and some day get my full strength back so I can walk and hike and dance (I've decided that if I can walk again, I'm going to learn to dance!).
And, to be honest, there is a small feeling of dread as well...what if the pain returns, and the sleepless nights and the utter exhaustion? What if nothing has changed?
That is when we are reminded of the two nightmares and the choice (see the previous post). Panic or trust? Fear or surrender...which will it be?
We choose to trust, and we thank you for your prayers these next three weeks for "revascularization" and healing...and hope and courage.We are so very grateful for your love and support- our true and loyal friends!
Blessings,
Joanna
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